* Daddy needs a tall changing table or he will throw his back out, so we’ve height tested changing stations for optimum back support.
* Snapping newborn jammies closed in the wee hours while your baby cries in the cold night air will drive even the most patient person clinically insane. Only zip up sleepers and night gowns for us!
* We’re all stocked up on healthy food, comfort food, sweet and salty snacks, and even some vitamins and supplements to fuel our delirium.
Yep. We’ve been organizing, preparing, purchasing, sorting, all for the arrival of our two little babes as we hunker down for the battlefield of sleep-deprived-newborn-parenting that lay before us.
Focus on the day that you will no longer go without your greatest desires. When you will no longer go without sleep, showers, pedicures, stylish clothes, leisurely lunches.
Or better yet! Don’t just idolize these things or idolize some future date when you can “have it all” again, but grab them all now! Satiate your personal,
physical desires! Turn the “stones” of early motherhood into the “bread” you dream about.
|(This moment of zen provided by Panera Bread…)|
I also know I will find fuel in the presence of my children. In their sweet smiles and soft skin. In the tender touch and countless cuddles newborns can bring. In the sweet moments spent with two tiny little girlies.
But I cannot live by this “bread” alone.
I want my motivation in motherhood to be different this time. I want my own “test in the wilderness” of newborn (and toddler) motherhood to be a time when I practice living not just on “bread alone” but more importantly on “every word that comes from God.”
A powerful spiritual season where I can say:
I mean, even Jesus only fasted for 40 days!
Please hear me. None of these things are sinful. The desire for them is not from the devil. God knows our physical needs and emotional desires. After Jesus’ temptation, He didn’t say, “Suck it up!” He sent angels to attend Him. Let me tell you, I have found “angels” attending to me in the slow sipping from a Starbucks cup.
I’m tired of my first response in desperate motherhood moments being, “I just need ….” time alone, a hot shower, a pedicure, or something else momentary, temporary. I’m frustrated with how rarely I think, “I need more of the Spirit.”
I have found that many of us struggle with mothering littles because we rely on the wrong things for the power to persevere. We either live for moments where we can fill up on personal fulfillment (our lattes and Zumba classes and craft nights and book clubs) or we rely on our love for our children to propel us forward.
The problem is none of these things have any actual power.
My delicious latte is providing me with a temporary caffeine high and emotional comfort, but it can’t change my heart and soul. It can’t impact my motivations and make me a new creation.
My delicious children may be adorable and wonderful and miraculous. They are blessings, and the greatest gifts I will ever be given. But my love for them, my gratitude is not enough to overcome my frustration at their sin nature, at their basic human need to cry and demand that their needs be met at midnight, mid-morning, mid-afternoon and every hour in between.
The comfort found lattes and the love found in my newborns’ eyes won’t provide me the power to persevere.
Tomorrow I’ll be a baby (babies) mama once again, and my focus in the following days, week and months is to find power and perseverance in the Spirit. The One who hovered over the darkness in the beginning. The One who has made me a New Creation. And perhaps with these brand new babes, I’ll emerge a brand new Child of God myself. No longer living by bread alone but by every word that comes from God.