Our Father

Did you ever watch Mad Men?

There’s a scene where Betty Draper is watching TV. President Kennedy had just been shot. The country and the characters on the show are still reeling from his assassination. Everyone is glued to their televisions, watching follow-up stories and trying to make sense of it all, including Betty.

In this particular scene, she’s mesmerized by the screen, shell-shocked from days of grieving over the earth-shattering loss of the president. She’s searching the face of the man on TV, Lee Harvey Oswald, as he’s being transferred to another prison. Her face is fierce yet fragile, obviously shaken by the recent tragedy but also teaming with anger. Then shouts ring out. And she shouts.

“What is going ON?!”

My sentiments exactly. In the shadow of recent events, with my own eyes glued to various screens, the questions I can’t help but repeat is: What is going on?

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Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us of our trespasses,
as we forgive those that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

I grew up Catholic. These words are familiar in my mouth, nostalgic and comfortable.

When I accepted Christ in 1998, these words took on new meaning. The were no longer meaningless ritual. They became powerful and precious. They are the words of Christ pulling the veil, providing an open pathway to the Creator of the universe. They represent our ability to approach our Lord through our Savior, to speak directly to our Maker in conversation, worship, gratitude and communion.

Our Father, who art in heaven

I don’t know about you, but I’m overwhelmed with our world. With the tragedies of late and political climate of our country and world. I’m weighed down on all sides by the life directly in front of me (like getting my kids to PUT THEIR FREAKING PANTS ON ALREADY!) and the big, bad world beyond. I find myself moment by moment in need of a Father, a loving Parent, listening, caring, comforting me from on high. I find myself crying out to Him and desiring Him more than ever when everything I can see is nothing short of terrifying.

Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth, as it is in heaven.

In the wake of bathroom controversies, presidential debates, parental criticism, horrendous massacres, we all cry out. The news, social media, conversations overflow with a call for God to come, to bring His kingdom, to step in, here and now. Save us, help us, show UP, Jesus. Rain down on the injustice, atrocities, ignorance, bigotry, just plain sin. Rain down, bring Your kingdom, bring Your peace, bring Your justice, we plead. Bring it here, bring it now.

Give us this day our daily bread,
And deliver us from evil.

We edit this precious prayer of His. I know I do. Unknowingly, unintentionally, or maybe more intentionally than I’d like to admit. Keep me safe, keep me comfortable, make life easy and carefree. Remove the evil that I see around me. In other people, other lifestyles, other choices, other cultures, other beliefs. Remove the judgement and the hate and the stupidity and the opposition to my way of life that surrounds me. But not IN me. In me? For me? Just provide, please. Keep me comfortable and safe and easy breezy. Keep my fridge full, my gas tank full, my weather good, my children good, my home large and clean and cute and cool in the summer months. That’s all, amen.

As mothers are losing their babies to alligators and gunmen. As men and women and children seek refuge from Syria and suburbia alike. As my countrymen gather ’round at hate-filled rallies and form sanctimonious sisterhoods online. As we, all of us, myself included, prove daily our need for forgiveness and regeneration and God’s patience in waiting before He brings the final judgement. In this place, I edit my prayer.

My precious prayer to my gracious Lord.

I forget the Hallowedness of His Name. I forget my need to receive forgiveness. I forget my role as an intercessor on the part of my so-called enemies. We ask for justice and peace and comfort and judgement on this earth, forgetting to whom we speak.

I have no answers for the news. The events of our time seem more gruesome and heartbreaking by the day. The only answer that seems to make any sense ever is the Sunday School one.

Jesus.

And in His instruction to prayer.

A prayer that starts with recognizing our hallowed Lord, giving Him glory and honor and praise. A prayer that includes confession of our sins and intercession on behalf of other sinners, as well.

Sisters. This world is making me sad. The way things are, these last few weeks especially, and this year to come. It’s so easy for me to cry out,

“What in GOING ON?!”

“Where are you? Do something! Go get the bad guys, and don’t forget to keep me safe. I’m worried, Lord, and scared. Bring heaven here. Make this life easy and peaceful. Give me a leader that makes sense. Give me sane neighbors who won’t shoot me. Give me protection from people and predators by land and by sea. I want ease and peace and comfort, oh please. Amen.”

That’s not a BAD prayer, but I know I’m missing out. I know I’m missing real comfort and peace by not praising His name. I’m missing real ease of spirit by not interceding on behalf of crazed gunman and politicians who could use the same forgiveness I receive.

Through my fear for our future as a nation and a culture. Through my fear for my future as a stay-at-home, soon-to-be homeschooling mom, with chronic depression. Through my fear of so many things locally and globally.

Because there will always be sin and injustice in this terrifyingly worrisome world. Because I will always be ill-equipped and unable to control my children or my country.

Through all this, because of all this and more, I need to pray this prayer. This WHOLE prayer. Unedited and unfettered.

For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are His, not mine. Now and forever. Amen.