I’m less afraid for how they’ll turn out, if I’m going to ruin them before their first birthday. “Ruining them” not a beginning problem. That’s a life long journey. It’s not about how I water the seed or what soil I choose at the start. It’s maintenance over years and years and years. The continual, constant care and nurturing of these little saplings. Doing my best and letting God fill in the gaps.
I am, however, scared of the first few days, weeks, months of loneliness in the new motherhood fog. Breastfeeding days of my life away alone in my house, playing Angry Birds at 2am, watching Project Runway at 4am, desperate for a friend by noon.
New motherhood is a hard, lonely, blessed business.